Remembering Chase
by CandySmile
Summary: When Logan's oldest and dearest childhood friend dies, Kendall and Camille try their best to help Logan to remember the good times and cope with the loss of his friend.THIS ISN'T SLASH!
1. Prologue: A Letter for Logan

A/N: hey guys! So, this is a new story idea (one of them, at least) That I was thinking about. Thanks very much to my little sis, Grace for helping me get this story off the ground! ^_^

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><p>Dear Mr. Mitchell:<p>

We regret to inform you of the sudden and extremely unexpected death of Chase Foreman. Mr. Foreman was a bright

young individual with a successful future ahead of him. May his spirit be at peace, and his good soul at rest. Please be

strong and accept our condolences.

All of our sympathy,

Regrets,

Issac Johnston, Head of Rose Thorn Funeral Home/Organization

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><p>AN: So what did you think? Should I continue? ^_^


	2. Restless Nights

**A/N: Okay, I am SO sorry for taking so long to update! I hope this kind of fluffy and long Chapter makes it better! Read and enjoy! **

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><p>Kendall Knight almost couldn't think of a time that he had been more excited. After months of practicing, recording, and selling their debut album, entitled 'Big Time Rush', Logan, Carlos, James and him were taking a week off of work, much to Gustavo's displeasure, to go back home to Minnesota and see their friends, reminisce about old times, and make memories.<p>

Logan, however, was clearly the most enthusiastic about heading back home. He had been frantically planning for and endlessly jabbering about the upcoming trip. Not that his friends minded. Frankly, they were all happy that Logan was anxious to be back at home; they all were. But the other boys knew the real reason that their friend was so eager.

Back before Logan had met the boys who were now his band mates, his best friend had been a boy named Chase Foreman. Logan and Chase were almost inseparable, and the young boys spent as much time as they could together. However, when they were 10 years old, Chase's father accepted a job in a different city, causing him to move three hours away. At first, Logan was devastated, and Chase had to call him everyday, just making sure he was okay. As the weeks wore on, both sets of parents decided that the best idea was to have get-togethers every so often, so that their children's friendship stayed intact. Years went by, and they boys were 11, 12, 13…. and they still stayed in touch. However, both Logan and Chase had made new friends, and they began to drift apart.

When the friendship was nearly nonexistent, they were around fifteen; Chase got a call from Logan, telling him they needed to talk more. And talk they did. They went back to calling each other, every other week or so, or whenever they wanted to talk about something.

Since Logan and his friends had become a band, Big Time Rush had managed to take over their lives. They moved, had jobs, recording…So much to do. And once again, Logan and his former best friend's contact began to dwindle. Now, Logan hadn't been thinking about this until Kendall announced the trip back to Minnesota. The fact that he hadn't talked to the person who had once been his best friend in more than half a year caused him to immediately plan a whole two days of things that they could do together. Chase hadn't left him a message yet, but he was confident that he would, sooner or later, hopefully…

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><p>Kendall awoke with a start. He didn't know why; he couldn't remember any dreams nor did he feel sick. Something just felt wrong, out of place. He glanced warily at the digital clock that sat on the table next to his bed. 2:30 am. His eyes cautiously roamed the room that he and Logan shared, his heart nearly stopping when he saw that Logan's eyes were wide open. Logan never stayed awake this late, unless he had a nightmare or was thinking so hard about something, he lost track of time. Even though he was slightly irritated at his friend for potentially compromising his health and a perfectly good night of sleep, he interrupted the boy's thoughts in a quiet tone.<p>

"Logan?" he asked gently.

Kendall immediately regretted not whispering when the smaller boy quite literally jumped a foot into the air, landing with a sound of creaky springs back onto the bed. He glanced over at Kendall, whose face even in the dark held an expression of worry.

"Kendall?" he began, voice hoarse, "What are you doing up?"

Kendall nearly laughed out loud, and would have, if it were not an extremely unholy hour of the morning, and that he heard the hint of something in Logan's voice. _Embarrassment, maybe?_

"Well, I guess I should be asking you the same question. I mean, I just woke up, Logan, and by the looks of it, you haven't gotten much sleep tonight. What's wrong, Logan? Did you have a nightmare or something?" Kendall finished, mentally kicking himself for not putting it into kinder words, as it was almost three o'clock in the morning.

It was silent for a minute, and Kendall prayed hopefully that Logan had actually fallen asleep. But, when Logan spoke, Kendall wasn't prepared for what came next.

"Kendall," he began again, but this time Kendall recognized the lilt to his tone, the hoarseness of his voice.

Logan had been crying.

"Logan," Kendall interrupted him, worry seeping shamelessly into his voice.

"_What_ happened?" he said with more force, his worry for his friend increasing.

Logan laughed, or at least tried to. It came out more as a choking sound. Kendall could almost feel his eyes boring into him, and for once, he was glad it was dark.

"You're going to think I'm stupid," he began. Kendall felt the urge to counter his remark, by saying something warm and comforting, but he bit his lip. It was clearly already hard enough for Logan to be talking to him, and he was afraid that if he said something wrong, he would make it worse and Logan would start crying again. And anyone who knows what it feels like to accidentally make Logan Mitchell cry, knows that it was the equivalent to running over a kitten with your car. Ergo, one of the most terrible feelings that a human being could experience.

"But, if you'd like to know, I was, um, thinking. Ab-about Chase." his voice broke, and he cleared his throat nervously.

_ Of course._ Kendall realized. Of course Logan was worried about seeing the boy who had once been his best friend. Things were so different now.

"What about him?" Kendall prodded gently, when Logan hesitated to continue.

"Well, I just haven't seen him in so long…I feel like we don't know each other anymore, and I'm afraid I might be right. Kendall, I barely remember what he looked like when we were twelve. What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he's changed so much that he won't even be the Chase I knew? What if he never even calls back?" Logan ended, and Kendall could tell he was about to cry again.

At that point, Kendall slowly raised himself out of his bed, carefully making his way across the pitch-black room to the familiar corner where Logan's bed rested. Sitting down, he placed a comforting hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. Logan moved his head to look up at Kendall, and he could tell the Logan's eyes held a pleading look; he just wanted Kendall to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. And Kendall did just that.

"Logan, you could have said something earlier, we're all here for you, and I doubt that Chase will dislike you for being busy. I'm sure he'll understand. And if he doesn't, that's his loss, and we'll be right by your side." Kendall sighed, hoping that Logan got it through his head that they would always be there for him, no matter what.

Kendall cringed inwardly when he felt Logan's hot tears fall onto his hand.

"No, no, Logan, don't be upset. I'm sorry." Kendall felt bad for upsetting his friend.

Logan took a deep breath, and stopped crying.

"Kendall, it isn't your fault. To tell the truth, I'm just sorry for almost doubting that you guys would be there for me. You know your friendship means the world to me."

Kendall smiled, and leaned down to hug his best friend gently. He pulled away, hoping that they could both get some sleep.

"Are you okay now? Do you want me stay up a little longer. But not too long, I have a date with Jo tomorrow, and she'll kill me if I fall asleep right in the middle of it." Kendall joked, trying and succeeding at making Logan laugh.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Get some sleep, Kendall."

Kendall smiled, and slowly retreated to his bed, flopping down on the soft mattress.

"You, too, Logan."

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><p><strong>AN: So what did you think? ^_^**


	3. The Letter

**_A/N: Hey guys! Sup? Who watched Big Time Break-Up Last Night? *Raises hand* I did! It was really good! But, for those of you who didn't watch it, I won't say anything…. ;) So, here's Chapter, ummm 2? Technically, it's Chapter 3…. But, anyway, read enjoy, and review!_**

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><p>Kendall happily walked down the halls of the Palm Woods, talking on the phone with Jo. It was mid-afternoon, and he had just gotten back from his lunch date with her.<p>

"Yeah, Jo. Sure, it was no problem." Kendall tried to reassure her that he didn't mind going to lunch with her. In actuality, he was still amazed that by some miracle, he hadn't fallen asleep right in the middle of eating his cheeseburger.

Kendall turned down the hallway and walked the three steps to get to 2J. Turning the handle, he was met with and odd sight when he looked into the room.

"Well, Jo, I have to go now. Sure. Bye, I love you, too." He closed his phone.

Logan was sitting on the couch, facing the television. Except, he wasn't watching the TV. In fact, it wasn't even turned on. He just sat there, staring intently at the black screen. Instantly, Kendall was worried.

"Umm, Logan-?" he began, but was cut off.

Logan held up a hand, eyes still not moving from the blank TV.

"Shush- I'm watching TV." He replied.

Kendall slowly walked over, and, reaching to the top of the flat-screen, he pushed the power button. The TV flickered to life.

"You might want to, um, turn the TV on before you start watching." Kendall began, not wanting his worry to come out sounding rude. Either Logan was very upset, or very stressed.

Logan grabbed the remote, and almost angrily, he turned it off. Then, he went back to staring.

"I don't have to." He replied, sounding almost stubborn, eyes fixed unblinking on the completely silent TV.

Kendall walked as quietly as he could, sitting softly on the couch next to his friend, and placing a careful hand on his shoulder.

"Logan, what is it? What are you thinking about?" he said it as softly and as nicely as he could, still worried about his friend's well-being.

For the first time since Kendall had walked through the door, Logan positioned himself so his eyes directly met Kendall's. He looked slightly ashamed.

"Well, I was just…thinking about Chase again." he said quietly.

Understanding raced through Kendall. His eyes immediately softened. Kendall was no doctor, but he decided that the best thing to cure Logan's anxiety was to talk about it.

"Well, I guess that explains why you were watching the TV when it wasn't turned on…" Kendall tried to make Logan a little happier.

He laughed, and his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Yeah, I guess it does," his expression got serious. "But I just have so many questions to ask Chase. I mean, it's going to be like getting to know him all over again. It's going to be so hard."

Kendall sat silently for a minute, thinking about what to say.

"Well, that's part of the fun, isn't it? I mean, you'll be able to see how each other have changed, and talk about things that you used to do together." He replied, hoping that the answer would ease his friend's stress.

Logan sighed, a somewhat relieved look replacing the extremely stressed expression had held moments ago.

"Thanks, Kendall. You always know just what to-"

Suddenly, Camille burst through the door, wearing what could only be identified as clothes stolen from Dorothy off of "The Wizard of Oz". Blue checkered dress, braided hair, ruby slippers, the works. She even had a basket with a stuffed dog in it and….Letters?

"Hey, guys!" she exclaimed.

Kendall and Logan shared a smile. Camille was an aspiring actress, and she was often found in crazy costumes, reciting dramatic lines to random people, and slapping them in the face. Those who didn't know her personally probably thought that she was crazy.

"Hi, Camille." Logan and Kendall replied in unison.

"I brought you guys your mail." She said, digging a stack of letters out of her basket and flipping through them casually.

"Thanks." Logan replied with a laugh.

Kendall, in the other hand, was confused.

"How did you get our mail?" he asked.

Camille ignored his question as if he weren't even there, and continued rifling through the mail.

"Hmm, let's see. Bills, bills, spam, ummm, more bills- Hey, Logan! There's a letter for you!"

Logan immediately rocketed off of the couch and was at Camille's side at an inhuman speed. He grabbed the letter from Camille's hand in earnest.

"Thanks, Camille! Oh, it's from Minnesota! It must be from Chase!" he walked slowly to his room, opening the letter as he went. The gleeful expression faded slowly as he picked up his pace, running into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Camille and Kendall exchanged confused looks at each other, worried about their friend's sudden change of mood.

Kendall looked at Camille hopefully.

"What should we do? Should we see what happened, or let him be alone? He seemed pretty upset." Kendall was glad Camille was there.

However, she looked just as lost as he did.

"Well," she began, "I say we give him a half hour or so. I mean, if he doesn't come out, we'll know something's up…" she finished, praying that everything was okay, and Logan would come out of his room any minute, smiling as if nothing had happened.

He didn't.

Fifteen minutes, twenty, thirty, forty-five. When an hour had passed, Kendall decided that either him or Camille had to do something. He made the over-ruling decision that it would be Camille.

"Camille," he began quietly, hoping the way he was looking at her would make her understand what he wanted her to do.

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><p>"Camille."<p>

Camille caught Kendall's eyes for the first time in the past hour. The expression in his eyes was pleading, and she knew what she had to do. Slowly, she nodded, and raised herself off of the couch.

She almost tiptoed down the hallway to the room that Logan and Kendall shared. She paused when she reached the door, unsure of what to expect. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, only to be met with…silence.

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><p><strong><em>AN: Dun-dun-dunnn! Oh my- my first legitimate cliffhanger. ;) Please don't kill me, or I won't be able to write anymore! But reviews are nice….Yup, I love reviews. ^_^ Sorry, this Chapter was a little shorter than the last, but I really wanted to end it with anticipation…. Did it work? Please review, and I might update early again._**


	4. Not the Same Logan

A/N: Hello, all! I hope you are enjoying the story so far! I want to start off by saying I am sorry if this Chapter is shorter than the others. I am leaving for vacation tomorrow, and I am super busy! ^_^ Oh, and if I normally review your stories, I will be gone from tomorrow to Monday, just so you know I am not forgetting you guys! ^_^ And, lastly, I want to thank all of you for reading, and especially those of you that take the time to review. You guys have no idea how much the positive feedback means to me. All right, well enough of my rambling-on to the angst! ^_^ Enjoy!

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><p>Camille's heart was beating a mile a minute as she peeked her head through the door, glancing warily around the room. She wasn't quite sure what to do, so she slowly eased her tense body into the bedroom, closing the door silently behind her. She was almost afraid to speak, that's how quiet it was. She tiptoed farther into the room, still keeping her eyes open, listening for the smallest sound, the slightest disturbance in the stillness. Walking with a feather-light gait, she moved around the dresser, and, hesitating slightly, and looked over the side of the bed, to the corner of the floor that wasn't visible while standing in the doorway. Her heart stopped.<p>

There was Logan, curled up on his side, in the tiniest ball she had ever seen, his cell phone and an opened letter on the floor next to him. He was silent, yet visibly shaking, and he was so pale, Camille's heart instantly jumped into her throat with worry. Cautiously, she crouched down next to Logan's prone form on the hard floor, pausing barely a second before laying a soft hand on his quivering shoulder.

"L-Logan?" she whispered, hating herself for not trying to compose herself before attempting to speak to him, as he was clearly already severely distressed.

He didn't answer, and continued shaking uncontrollably. When she was ready to try again, she was shocked into silence when a small sound escaped his throat. A whimper. Before she could speak again, Logan was sobbing at full force, completely shattering the intense silence that had filled the room just moments before.

Camille could hardly stand how large her heart seemed to swell with compassion. She knew at an instant that she needed to find out what was wrong.

"Logan? What happened?" she asked quietly.

As she expected, he didn't answer. So, she wrapped her slender arms around his small body, slowly pulling him up and cradling him in her arms. She pressed her lips softly into his hair, kissing him gently, and stroked his shoulders and back ever so lightly.

They sat there for an immeasurable amount of time, and Camille had never felt so relieved when Logan's sobs finally slowed to a stop. He sat lying against her, his breath hot against her chest. He took a labored breath, and gently positioned himself to look up at her.

Camille could barely comprehend the look in his eyes. They were glazed with pain, glassy from crying; yet what scared her the most was that they looked empty. His eyes were normally full of life, a spark of joy that made Logan…well, Logan. She felt almost sick as she gazed into his blank stare. Those eyes were not his.

Taking a deep breath, she spoke.

"Logan? What happened? If you don't want to tell me, it's okay." She whispered sympathetically. She knew that she couldn't do much more, at least not until she figured out what was wrong.

He didn't speak, but this time, his actions served as a response to her question. He slowly reached toward where he had previously been laying, and picked up a letter, handing it to Camille.

Camille, bracing herself for the worst, took a deep breath and began to read.

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><p>Kendall had been sitting alone on the couch for over an hour, worry increasing as the clock ticked on, his only link to what was going on inside of the room were muffled sounds that sounded horribly like sobs.<p>

So, he wasn't expecting Camille to come barreling out of the hall, her face pale, eyes tearing up, and a piece of paper in her hand.

"Kendall," she cried, her voice floating dangerously on the edge of breaking, "You have to read this, now." She shoved the paper into his hand.

He swallowed. _Camille, crying? For real?_ It had to be something horrible.

He forced his eyes down to look at the paper, and with a pang he realized it was the letter that Logan had received earlier.

The letter was short, but Kendall's heart dropped to his stomach when he read the first five words:

_'We regret to inform you…'_

He quickly skimmed the remainder of the terrible letter, his eyes welling up with tears as he finished, and looked up slowly.

"Oh, no…"

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><p>AN: Sooo? What did you think? ^_^


	5. It's Only Just Begun

A/N: Hello Readers! ^_^ It's kind of been more than a week, so I believe I am due for an update. WARNING: I am writing this while listening to In the End, by Drake Bell, so if it gets too angsty, I am sorry. I cannot resist him-such a great voice and- Ok, I'm just going to write now. ;) Oh, I have a question for all of you readers, which will be at the end of this Chapter that I would like you all to answer, whether you PM me, or review. Thanks! ^_^

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><p>"One of us needs to do something," Camille stated, her voice thick with emotion.<p>

Kendall, who had been sitting next to Camille on the couch for the last twenty minutes with his head in his hands, jumped slightly as she broke the silence. They had retreated to the living room after a quiet discussion, if it could even be called that, with Logan. Logan had insisted that he needed time alone, that he'd be fine; he just needed to be alone. Kendall didn't believe it for a second. Logan was always the one to hold back his feelings, insist that he didn't need help. Only this time, Kendall was worried that his aversion to letting people help him would affect his health. He was the leader, and he made the decision that he would talk to Logan, alone this time. Taking a deep breath, he spoke.

"Camille," he began quietly, realizing his quiet tone wouldn't do. He took a breath and steadied his voice, raising the volume slightly. "I need to talk to Logan. Alone."

Camille's eyes filled with tears, and instantly Kendall realized he probably shouldn't have said it so harshly.

"I'm not going to leave, if that's what you're asking me to do." She wiped her tears, looking completely determined.

Kendall knew she wasn't going to leave, but he needed time alone with Logan, and he knew he wouldn't get it when Camille was in the house.

"Camille, why don't you go home and change your clothes. I'll hold down the fort here, I promise." He tried to reassure her.

Sheepishly, Camille looked down, realizing what Kendall had been too kind to point out. She was still in full costume, shoes and everything.

"Oh. Okay, I'll be back soon." She turned slowly and walked towards the door, and placed her hand on the knob.

"Camille," Kendall stopped her, "Thank you, for…umm-"

"Wanting to help my friend?" she cut him off, a gentle smile forming on her tear-streaked face. "Don't worry Kendall, I'll be back."

And, with that, she was gone as quickly as she had come in the first place.

Now that Camille had left, Kendall knew his top priority was to talk to Logan; Kendall was no doctor, but he was pretty sure that it was bad for someone who had been traumatized by the death of a friend to be left alone. Kendall thought that he would feel relieved that Camille was gone, but he doubted he had felt lonelier in his life. He slowly made the trek to Logan's room, his sense of uneasiness hitting him full force with every step.

When he reached the door, he decided to stop hesitating. He wanted to help his friend as soon as he could-what good would stalling do? Without a second thought, he pushed open the door with a look of what he hoped resembled confidence on his face.

Logan was sitting on the bed, staring down at his hands as they rested unmoving on his lap. He didn't even react to the fact that the door had just opened. Kendall was unsure if he even heard it.

"Logan? Are you…." He didn't finish.

Logan slowly raised his head, in a slight nod, so as to acknowledge that he had heard Kendall speaking, and went back to staring pointlessly at his lap. Kendall approached the bed, sitting down softly next to the smaller boy.

Kendall, in all honesty, was so relieved that Logan wasn't crying he could barely breath. Truthfully, the image of what Camille had told him earlier, of how she found Logan in the bedroom, was still fresh in his mind, and even though he hadn't truthfully seen it, he felt sick at the mere thought of Logan being so upset. He laid a hand on Logan's shoulder carefully. He felt so frail, so…breakable.

At the light touch, Logan turned and looked up into Kendall's eyes, this time meeting him head-on.

Kendall cringed when he saw how much pain his friend's eyes held. He couldn't stand to see his best friend in such agony, and, before he could stop himself, he wrapped the smaller boy in a gentle hug. Immediately, Kendall pulled away when he felt Logan go rigid in his arms. Holding Logan's shoulders at arm's length, he saw with a pang that Logan was, in fact, in tears again.

What can I do? All I've been able to accomplish so far is making my best friend cry…

Kendall snapped himself out of the shred of self-pity that had weaved its' way into his head. This was not the time. As Logan's cries began to escalate into loud sobs, Kendall made it a point to get through to him.

"Logan? Please, Logan, talk to me. Please…." Kendall felt so lost, and for a fleeting second, he wished Camille would come back. He wished his mom and Katie weren't visiting relatives. James, Carlos, anybody… He felt so alone, so useless.

Kendall didn't know what he was expecting. But he was sure as heck it wasn't Logan speaking to him.

Four words, almost inaudible, amid the sobs, the flow of tears.

"It's all my fault."

The words took a moment to sink in, but when they did, they hit Kendall like a ton of bricks. _Logan's fault? That was impossible…_

"Logan, that's impossible. How could this be your fault?" Kendall knew immediately that he shouldn't have asked. The question brought on a fresh wave of sobs for Logan, and a fresh wave of guilt to Kendall.

Kendall decided not to push it, and didn't try to ask again, not wanting to press Logan any further. He hated feeling helpless, especially when his friends were suffering. He was the leader, the levelheaded one that always knew what to do, that reassured them that everything was going to be okay. Except, now, he just…couldn't. And that was killing him inside.

So he did the only thing he thought reasonable at the time. He wrapped his arms around Logan's quivering body in a warm hug, leaning back into the pillows and gently cradling his friend.

He lay there, in the silence, with only the sound of Logan's heaving breaths. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get Logan's words out of his head.

_"It's all my fault."_

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><p>Camille, after changing clothes and an unusually long, and late, dinner with her dad, was heading back to apartment 2J. She had never felt so guilty in her life. She had told Kendall she would be back soon. Hours were not 'soon'.<p>

'_Kendall must hate me. I left him all by himself… Oh, Logan. I hope he's feeling better. _

Her thoughts were short and to the point, full of guilt and raw worry. Turning the corner, she reached 2J and threw open the door, surprising herself when she didn't even think about knocking. She felt worry chill her body as she looked around and saw an empty living room.

"Kendall?" she called, making her way towards the bedroom.

When she received no reply, she quickened her pace, and in a few strides, she had reached the room, throwing open her third door in one day.

Her heart melted at the sight she saw, a look of absolute relief on her face, and a sigh of contentment passing through her lips.

There, lying on the bed, were Kendall and Logan. Kendall was propped up against the pillows, with his arms wrapped protectively around the smaller boy. They were both fast asleep.

She smiled to herself, and walked to the opposite side of the bed, almost dying of surprise when she stepped on something hard and cold. She laughed slightly when the screen lit up, and she realized it was Logan's cell phone. She bent down, picked it up, and saw that the screen was marked in the section 'Voice Mail.' There was a message from a few days ago, from an unknown number that had just been received that day. Mere hours ago. Cautiously, she dialed the voice mail, and prepared herself to feel stupid if the caller was just Gustavo or Kelly. She was in no way prepared for the message she heard.

_"Hey, Logan! It's Chase. It's so great to finally hear from you, it's been so long. Wow, you're coming back to Minnesota? Really? That's great! I'll drive up back home, it'll be great to see you-"_ The message was cut short by the sound of screeching tires, metal-on-metal, and a sickening crunch. Then the message cut out, leaving only silence and Camille's heavy breathing.

"Oh my God…"

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><p>AN: Woah… Intense… I would like to take a moment and tell you guys two things: 1. I dedicate this extremely angsty Chapter to Nicole1995. Her stories are AMAZING, and you should check them out. 2. Do you guys like the POV switch from Kendall to Camille?

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it! ^_^ I'll update again next Thursday, but if you review, I may update earlier…


	6. Maybe It'll be Okay

A/N: Ok. Let's get one thing completely straight. I am a terrible person. Let's get another thing straight: Writer's block? Yeah, it sucks. And you know what else sucks? Having zero computer access for a week AFTER the Writer's block is gone. Well, in all seriousness, I am SO sorry for not being able to update. I really promise to update WAYYY more frequently from now on. Cross my heart. How about two Chapters this week? One today, and one Saturday? Is that okay? Please tell me in a review, PM, etc. Again, I am so sorry, I could cry, but I won't. I WILL write this Chapter. I really hope you like it. Enjoy.

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><p>Camille sighed, warily cracked open an eye, and glanced over at the digital clock that rested on her bedside table. She frowned; where was the table? Now fully awake, she rolled over, letting out a little 'Oof' of surprise as the roll sent her catapulting off the edge of… A couch. She had been sleeping on a couch? In a sudden rush of swirling emotions, the memories of the previous night flooded her still-tired mind. Coming back to 2J, checking on the boys, her curiosity getting the better of her and listening to the message on Logan's phone…. She tugged a slightly shaking hand through her horribly tangled curls, not quite ready to get up and face the day, but knowing that she had to be strong for her friends, she heaved herself off of the wood floor, and this time, she knew where to look for a clock. Glancing and the numbers, her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. 5:30! She couldn't believe she had woken up so early. Camille was usually a morning person, but it was never anything like this! With a sigh, she decided if she continued to dwell on how early it was, there was a pretty big chance that she'd fall asleep again. She was almost to the door, when she decided to scrawl a quick note, just in case one of the boys woke up while she was gone.<p>

'Hey guys, I've gone back to my room to get ready. Be back in about half an hour.

See you then!

-Camille'

It wasn't her best explanation, and she knew it, but she also knew that she really wouldn't be able to think straight until she had showered and brushed her teeth. She walked quickly back to the apartment, and as someone walked by, giving her an odd look, she realized she must be a mess. She wish she had pulled her hair back, or at least looked in a mirror before she had rushed into the hallway, but what did it matter, anyway? It was, she reminded herself, only 5:30 in the morning. She doubted most people would even care what a sight she was.

Finally reaching the room, she ser out to ready herself in record time, and was completely finished in less than twenty minutes. She used the spare minutes to take a quick peek at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She was dressed in her favorite t-shirt, a navy v-neck with a delicate pattern of small, baby pink flowers, jean shorts, and a pair of plain black Converse. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail, and she wore a light layer of natural-looking makeup. Satisfied with her appearance, she headed out the door, closing it softly behind her. Walking back to 2J, she couldn't help but let her head fill with worry. She knew that her and Kendall needed to try to get Logan's mind off of everything for a while. After hearing the message, Camille had become increasingly worried about him. What if he had listened to the message? What if he hadn't? _It's too early for this_, she decided, putting an abrupt end to the worrisome string of thoughts. When she reached the apartment, she opened the door as quickly and as quietly as she could, fearing she might wake someone up if she was too loud. She walked in and was surprised to see Kendall sitting silently at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the flat surface.

"Hey," though she said it softly and gently, he still jumped as her voice shattered the silence. He looked up at her.

"Hi."

The raw emotion in his face nearly broke her heart. His pain, his worry for his best friend, -all was reflected in his extremely expressive eyes. She leaned down and wrapped him in a hug, and she could tell by the way he clutched her that he had desperately needed one. They sat there for a while, each taking comfort in a friend's loving embrace. When Camille finally pulled away, she was heartened to see that the small act had helped immensely.

"Thanks, Camille," Kendall whispered. She could tell he really meant it-his voice was riddled with sincerity.

"Anytime," Camille replied, resting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asked gently.

"Well…"he paused a minute. "Actually, I'm not sure. I just woke up, and I couldn't go back to sleep. Too much on my mind, I guess. So, I came out here to clear my head, and I saw your note. I just waited here until you came back. I didn't have to wait very long," he smiled.

"No, I guess you didn't, did you?" Camille grinned back, still marveling at how she had managed to get ready so fast.

"Hey, Camille?"

"Yes?" she replied.

"I was thinking, that maybe, today we could, umm, do something. The three of us. I think that Logan needs to be distracted. Here, locked up in his room all day, he's got nothing to think about except for how upset he is. I don't think it's good for him. What do you think?" he finished, looking up at her hopefully.

Camille was thrilled. She had been thinking the exact same thing.

"Kendall," she said, "I think that is an amazing idea."

The look on his face was priceless. He looked so happy that his idea could help Logan that Camille was somewhat saddened to have to tell him that if they were going somewhere, they needed to decide on a somewhere to go to.

"Well, did you have a place in mind?'

His smile lessened slightly. "Umm," he sat thinking for a minute. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "I've got it!" he exclaimed. "We can go to the boardwalk! We can hang out at the beach and go on rides… they might even have fireworks!"

Camille laughed at how he looked so proud of himself.

"Wow, Kendall, that's another great idea. I have to make a note of this so that no one ever forgets that you had two amazing ideas in one day!" she joked playfully.

"Ha ha, very funny," he replied, a very 'Kendall' grin forming on his mischievous face.

"Okay, now all we need to do is get Logan to come with us."

His eyebrows furrowed in determination.

"I don't think that will be too hard. I bet Logan really wants something else to think about, he's just too upset to think about it." He spoke the words like it was a speech and he was running for president.

Camille smiled at the eagerness in his voice- Kendall was always the one making speeches-but she feared it wouldn't be that simple. Yet, Camille thought, if anyone could get through to hopelessly lost Logan, it was Kendall.

"I'll tell you what. I'll get him up, and then you can talk to him about it, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, a smile making his features look childish and innocent.

She stood up, smoothing her shirt, and gave Kendall what she hoped was a reassuring, confident, gaze. Camille was down the hall in a split second, and knocked lightly on the door. When she didn't get a response, she opened the door just enough to peek her head in.

'Logan?" she called quietly, her eyes scanning the still silent room.

When she was sure he wasn't awake already, she let herself in, shutting the door smoothly behind her. She walked the distance to Logan's bed, glad that there was the light of dawn streaming through the window, and looked sympathetically at his sleeping form. He looked so small-smaller than usual-and young, like he was only a child. His face looked pale, yet peaceful, and Camille felt terrible about the fact that when he woke, all of the horrible things that had happened would be back in his head. It would all be real again. Her heart swelling with compassion, she reached hand out, lowering herself to sit on the edge of the bed, and shook his shoulder lightly. He stirred slightly, rolling onto his back. She tried again.

"Logan? Logan?" she called tenderly, sighing with relief when he blinked, his eyes unfocused.

"C-Camille?" he asked groggily, his hands coming up to rub his eyes.

She smiled encouragingly, "It's me. Did you sleep ok?"

He looked at her, sadness filling his eyes. "I guess…" he whispered. He closed his eyes again, and Camille's lips pressed into a frown. She laid a gentle hand on his check.

"Logan, Kendall wants to come in and talk to you. Is that okay?"

His nod was barely noticeable, but it was there.

"Alright. I'll tell him it's fine to come in."

He nodded again.

Camille took a breath of relief. It was time for Kendall to work some serious magic. She leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his flushed cheek. Giving a reassuring rub to his arm for comfort, she drew her hand away, and walked out of the room, pulling the door closed, but not shutting it all the way.

When she went back to the kitchen, Kendall looked at her questioningly. She nodded her head, giving him a tiny smile.

"It's all you," she said, "But, please, try to be gentle. He is so upset right now, that saying one wrong thing could make it worse."

He nodded, squared his shoulders, and walked confidently down the hall.

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><p>Kendall wasn't as confident as he led Camille to believe, in fact, he could almost feel his confidence slipping away with each step he took towards the room. He wasn't used to feeling helpless, and it frustrated him. But, more importantly, he was worried about Logan-more worried than he could ever remember feeling before. His heart pounded as he pushed open the door that had been left ajar.<p>

Logan was lying on his bed, and had the blankets pulled tightly around himself, like he was freezing. He met Kendall's eyes, and Kendall could clearly see that sleep hadn't made anything better.

"Hey, buddy," he said quietly, plopping down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey," Logan replied weakly. "Camille said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, we were thinking about going out today. How does the boardwalk sound?"

"That sounds nice, I'm sure you two will have fun," he replied, the misery in his voice almost tangible.

"No, Logan, you don't understand. I meant all of us. You, Camille, and me. What do you think?" Kendall said, trying his best to stay upbeat.

"Oh," he replied, clearly embarrassed. "Come on, you guys don't want me around. I'd just bring you down."

"Logan!" Kendall was pleading now. "You're our friend, we want you to feel better. Come with us. Please?"

Logan looked down. "Well, I guess so," he responded, in an almost inaudible tone.

Kendall smiled, "Come on, get up and get ready! We'll leave afterwards."

"Okay."

As Logan, raised himself out of the bed, Kendall quietly slipped out of the room. Logan hadn't been as excited as he had hoped, but he supposed that was to be expected. He entered the living room, where Camille sat looking worried, with a triumphant grin on his face. Camille looked at him, her eyes lighting up.

"You did it?"

"He's getting ready as we speak," Kendall grinned.

Camille hopped up and gave Kendall a huge hug.

"Thank you!"

"Of course. He's my best friend-I'd do anything for him."

Kendall didn't know if he had ever uttered a truer statement. He really would do anything for Logan-or for James or Carlos, for that matter. They were his friends, his band mates…His brothers.

* * *

><p>Camille had been delighted when Kendall told her that he had been successful in convincing Logan to come with them. Now, they were just waiting for Logan to be ready, which, since it had already been twenty minutes should have been-<p>

Her train of thought crashed when Logan walked out of the bathroom, dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a blue unbuttoned sweater over it. The outfit was simple, just everyday clothes, but to Camille, he almost looked like Logan again. If it weren't for the sadness in his eyes, she wouldn't have thought anything was wrong. She sighed. But it was.

"Hey, do you want something to eat, Logan?" she heard Kendal ask, but she kept her eyes on Logan's slightly pale face.

"No, I'm not hungry," he replied, smiling, but Camille could tell the smile was forced.

Camille was worried that he didn't want to eat, but she decided that, at this point, not to push it.

"Okay, we'll eat later," she replied cheerily. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>Camille laughed as Kendall struggled fruitlessly with the cotton candy he held in his hand, the sticky-sweet substance coating his fingers whether he wanted it to or not. They had spent the entire day at the boardwalk, and, personally, she was tired. But she had fun. And, more importantly, she could see far enough past the mast of sadness in Logan's eyes to know that he had had fun, too. They sat on a bench in the growing darkness and looked out over the water. Camille had to admit, it was a beautiful sight.<p>

She was caught by surprise as Logan scooted closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder. She smiled, and leaned her head towards his. She sat there, thinking, maybe they would be able to get through this after all. Yet, she had the feeling it would take a while…

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><p>AN: Hmm, a semi-happy Chapter… So, what did you think? Please review, it really helps me get a feel for what you guys like to read. Sorry for any typos, I typed this REALLY fast. ;)


	7. A Loving Friend

**A/N: Hello, all! So, I'm sorry about the late update, but I had family come to visit, therefore I was otherwise occupied. But, no fear, I am now back, and better than ever! Actually, I started school again on Monday, and I'll be a bit busy but I will never loose interest in fanfiction! So, again, I'm sorry for the slight inconvenience in update time, but I hope you enjoy the Chapter. Happy reading! ^_^**

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><p>"I should have told you this a long time ago."<p>

"I'm listening."

"I-I love you."

"I love you, too!"

"This is the most ridiculous movie ever." Kendall openly expressed his dislike of the sappy romantic drama that happened to be playing on TV.

"Come on, it's not that bad," Camille laughed, not a big fan of mushy love stories herself, and grabbed the remote that sat on the coffee table in front of her.

It had been about an hour since they had returned from the boardwalk, and the three were settled down on the couch, with Camille sitting in between the two boys. She looked to her left, and seeing that Kendall was still staring disgustedly at the television, she remembered that the remote was still in her hand. Smiling, she gently tapped his shoulder and handed him the device. He returned the smile, and changed the channel the moment the remote touched his hand. Camille laid back into the cushions and looked to her right, smiling sympathetically when she saw that Logan's small form was cuddled against her body, fast asleep. She put a comforting arm around him as a pained expression flickered across his face, and sighed when he relaxed once again. Suddenly, she felt Kendall's eyes on her and glanced up, meeting his gaze. His expression was full of understanding.

"You like him," he said to her calmly. It wasn't a question, or an accusation. It was simply a statement.

Camille's cheeks flooded with color, and she was so surprised that she couldn't speak for a minute. Even when she found her voice, she could barely get the words out.

"I-he-we… How-?" she sighed, in somewhat of a defeat. "Yes. I like him a lot."

Kendall smiled, looking (much to Camille's embarrassment) triumphant for a moment, and then his face was serious again.

"He likes you, too, Camille. In fact, he needs you. Especially now. Do you mind staying another night? It would really help."

Camille thought for a second. Kendall was right- Logan did need her, and she was almost positive that Kendall wouldn't be able to deal with this alone. The situation was wearing on him as well. He was trying hard to stay upbeat and seem confident for their benefit, and Camille knew it. Kendall was that kind of person- he was so selfless, and put a lot of effort into being strong for his friends in any situation. Camille knew this was also his way of asking her for help, and how could she refuse? The simple truth? She couldn't.

"Of course. I'll stay as long as you guys need me," she smiled, leaning in for a quick hug, but pulling away when Kendall failed to suppress a huge yawn.

"Okay, it's definitely time for bed," she chided playfully.

Kendall nodded and shut off the TV, stretching like a cat as he stood up. He almost started walking to his room, but something stopped him. He turned around.

"What about Logan?" he asked, glancing at his friend, who was still asleep at Camille's side.

Camille could tell that Kendall was tired, so she reassured him that it was okay for him to head to bed.

"I've got him, don't worry. Good night, Kendall," she said softly.

Kendall smiled, "'Night, Camille."

And with that, he was gone.

Camille felt instantly alone in the dark living room. She almost jumped out of her skin when Logan moaned softly beside her, shattering the eerie silence. She looked down at him, and saw that he was shaking. Immediately, she was concerned.

"Logan? Logan?" she shook him gently.

His eyes opened in what seemed like shock, and he sat up, staring wide-eyed straight ahead. His eyes were glassy, and his bottom lip was quivering. He looked confused and scared.

Camille grabbed his shoulders and turned him so that he was facing her and not the wall.

"Logan, what is it?" she asked, not sure if something really was wrong, or if she had just startled him.

All at once, tears poured from Logan's eyes, and he slumped against Camille, clinging to her desperately. Camille was stunned for a minute before she mentally slapped herself and regained control of her emotions. She put her arms around him, and pulled him onto her lap with ease.

"It's alright, Logan... Just-just let it all out," she whispered gently. Camille was afraid, though she would try hide it, and she wasn't sure that she would be able to deal with Logan being so upset much longer. But even more, she was worried that she wouldn't be able to help him enough that he would come out of it the same person.

She was called out of her thoughts by Logan's voice.

"Camille?" he whispered. He sounded so... broken.

Camille's eyes welled up.

"Yes?" she hugged him closer as a fresh wave of tears flowed down his face.

He looked up at her, his eyes desperately needing something to keep him grounded.

"Could you... S-stay with me tonight? Please? I don't want to be alone," he leaned against her again, like the simple response had drained his energy.

Camille could have sworn her heart exploded with compassion and sympathy.

"Of course. And you're never alone Logan, remember that." she found it hard to speak past the lump in her throat.

She felt him nod against her, his body still quivering slightly.

"Thanks, Camille," he whispered, and by his tone she could tell he was falling asleep again.

"Hey," she said, just the right volume to get his attention. "Do you want to go to your room?"

She felt him nod, which he seemed to be doing a lot lately.

"Okay, but you have to help me, don't fall asleep just yet."

"'Kay," he mumbled, trying to stand.

"Let me help you," she said gently, wrapping a supportive arm around his torso and leading him to his room.

Camille walked as quietly as she could, so she wouldn't run the risk of waking Kendall. She paused when she entered the room, letting her eyes adjust to the suffocating darkness that seemed to be pressing down on her. When her vision cleared, she walked Logan to his bed, and laid him down gently. She pulled the blankets over him, and when he was comfortably settled, she climbed into the bed next to him, and wrapped her arms around his body. He snuggled into the embrace, and when his breathed slowed and deepened, Camille knew he had fallen asleep.

She sighed, and figured she might as well get some sleep herself. As silently as she could, she slid down into the blankets and laid her head on the pillow next to Logan. Closing her eyes, Camille promised herself that she would wake up early to make sure that Logan was okay.

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><p><strong>AN: I know it was shorter and less exciting than the previous Chapter, and I originally had more planned for this, but I decided to save the boat-load of angst for the next Chapter. :) Haha, you know I love you guys! And I just wanted to thank all of you for taking the time to review, especially those anonymous reviewers! Big shout-out to all of you! Be sure to tell me what you think! Until next time,**

**-CandySmile- ^_^**


	8. Breaking

A/N: I'm going to (try) not to bother you guys with some long, rambling, and almost unnecessary excuse… School is quite literally eating my time away, and even my weekends are busy. Trust me, you have no idea how hard I've been trying to get this uploaded. Also, I'm determined to make sure that 7 isn't my 'Let's just quit here and stop writing this story' number. (If you read my POTC story, you'd get it. ) So, Without Further Ado, Chapter 8 (Yayyy!) of 'Remembering Chase.' (Italics are a dream, so…Yea. ^_^)

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><p><em>Logan blinked. He was so confused- where had this fog come from? It was everywhere, and so thick that he couldn't see a foot in front of his face. He had no idea how long he had be standing in the unidentifiable location, but at this point he was almost sure that he was alone, and that's what scared him the most. He had tried running in different directions, but with no success. He had even called out until his voice was hoarse. Finally, just as his eyes began to smart with tears, he saw what could only be described as a human-shaped shadow moving toward him, darkening the fog.<em>

_ Relief washed through him, followed by a cold fear in the pit of his stomach; he didn't even know who it was, and in some split-second decision, he came to the conclusion that he didn't want to know. Frantically, he looked around for something-anything- to hide behind. There was nothing. He lowered himself to the ground, and curled into a ball, trembling. He tried to stay quiet, but his shallow breathing was giving him away._

_ When he was just about ready to gather his courage and get up, a light touch on his shoulder sent him into the air with surprise. He heard a quiet voice shush him gently, and then the hand was back on his arm, but this time rubbing it for comfort._

_"Hey, it's okay. Sorry-didn't mean to scare you, buddy."_

_The moment heard those words, he turned in the direct of the voice-and froze._

_"C-Chase?" he whispered, not believing his own eyes._

_Chase smiled, light brown hair flopping casually over his forehead, not quite long enough to cover his sparkling blue eyes._

_"It's me. How've you been, Little Bro?" he let his hand fall from where he had been rubbing the boy's shoulder, his own muscular arm now resting at his side._

_Logan was speechless. Chase was dead-wasn't he? And yet, here he was, sitting with Logan, talking to him, as if nothing had changed._

_"I... I'm fine... I guess." Logan answered halfheartedly. Something just didn't feel... Right._

_Chase scrutinized him with gentle eyes, causing Logan to blush, thinking that he probably looked like crap. After a minute or so, Chase let up, causing Logan to release the breath he hadn't known he was holding._

_"Are you sure?" Chase replied, his tone concerned and his friendly expression mixed with worry, yet the cheerfulness didn't quite reach his eyes._

_"Yeah, of course," Logan reassured him. "How about you?"_

_Chase frowned._

_"You mean besides being left behind by my best friend?" his eyes suddenly gleamed with a fire that had been nonexistent moments before, his face was pale, and he looked downright scary._

_Logan's heart skipped a beat._

_"W-what do you m-mean?" the little brunette stuttered, involuntarily flinching away from his friend's suddenly frightening demeanor._

_"I mean the fact that you left me behind to fly off to California, without a second thought. I mean that you never decided to introduce me to your new friends. You know that things will never be the same again. You know that you're the reason I'm dead."_

_The fog darkened, going from white to almost black in seconds. Menacing gray clouds rolled across the sky, the thunder and lightening paving the way for the freezing cold rain that began to fall._

_Logan was paralyzed. His muscles refused to move as what he had just been told sank in. His fault. It was his fault. He was the reason Chase was dead. His fault..._

_The grief was so overpowering, Logan couldn't breathe. He looked up, squinting through the rain, and was met with a gruesome sight._

_Lying on the ground was Chase. He had numerous cut scattered across his body, blood blossoming like some sick flower onto his soaked clothes. He was sprawled in a way that suggested he had been thrown, and his arm was bent at a sickening angle._

_Logan dragged himself toward the inert form, breathing becoming impossible as he lifted his arms, ready to search for a pulse-when he stopped._

_There was something, something on his own hands... And that something was warm and sticky...and red. The boy swallowed, brought his hands to his face, his chest heaving as hysteric sobs wracked his slight frame._

_He threw himself onto the body, sobbing, calling, screaming, for somebody to help him. No one came. He was completely gone now, rocking back and forth, cradling the body as though it still held life. Through the thunder, the rain, and the night, he repeated two words:_

_"I'm sorry."_

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><p>"Camille? Camille! Please wake up!"<p>

The sound of Kendall's voice, as he sobbed her name, drew her out of her deep sleep. She opened her eyes, almost fully awake, and sat up.

"Kendall?" she asked worriedly.

He attempted to compose himself, his lanky body shaking as he tried to explain what was wrong.

"C-Camille, you have to come here, something's wrong with Logie and I can't get him to wake up."

Camille was instantly out of the bed. She nodded softly, giving him a hug and gripping his hand.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered gently. "Just lie down here and I'll take care of it."

Kendall nodded once, and snuggled into the blankets, as tears continued to stream from his green eyes.

Camille burst into the room, not thinking twice about entering, yet she was completely silenced by the scene that lay before her.

Logan was sobbing, hysterically, lying on top of the bed, curled in the fetal position, his hands cutting at the sheets with a death grip. His face was pale, his cheeks were flushed red, and he was shaking uncontrollably.

Camille ran to his side, grabbing his arm.

"Logan," she called in a loud, yet soothing voice. "Logan, wake up, it's just a dream."

He was unresponsive, continuing to sob. Camille tried a different approach.

"Logan, it's me, it's Camille.," she said frantically, tears actually pricking at the corners of her eyes. "You have to wake up for me. You're alright-I promise."

His body twitched, his eyes flickered and opened, revealing such hurt, such guilt, such agonizing pain that it made Camille want to rip her heart out. She gathered him in her arms as he continued to sob, rocking him. Then, she pressed her lips to his forehead, immediately pulling back when she felt his chest heaving beneath her, as she struggled to breathe.

"Oh, Logan, you have to calm down, Hon, shh-just breathe." she soothed.

He really was gasping for air, hyperventilating in such a way that she knew why Kendall had been so horrified.

He coughed and choked, rambling incoherently through the tremors that plagued his frail body.

She stroked his hair, trying desperately to stop his convulsive sobs.

"I'm sorry," Camille could make those two words out as Logan's hands blindly clutched her arms.

Camille felt a lump forming in her throat.

"It's okay, Logan, you didn't do anything wrong," she choked out.

He only sobbed harder, and Camille feared that her effort had made things worse. "Just take deep breaths. Calm down, you're safe."

He looked up at her, his empty eyes staring into her soul as he steadied his breathing. His gaze was interrupted as a tremor raced through his boy, resulting in a horrible fit of coughing.

Camille sighed, rubbing his back sympathetically and whispering reassuring things into his ear.

"I feel sick, Camille." Logan murmured, burying his face into her shirt.

Camille lifted him off of herself, tilting his head back by placing a finger under his chin, trying to get a clearer look at his face.

He was pale; much more so than she had thought, almost translucent and covered with a sickly sheen of sweat, but she hoped it had been caused by his fear and shock rather than illness. His, eyes, however, dashed her optimism. Lost, lonely, but most importantly, glassy with fever. He gazed up at her, but it seemed as though he couldn't clearly focus on her face. The poor thing was shaking visibly, and she realized it was probably because he had the chills.

"Are you cold, Logan?" she asked gently,

He nodded, burrowing deeper into her embrace.

Camille pulled a single fleece blanket (the warmest looking one she could see) off of the bed, wrapping Logan's shivering body in it, pulling him closer and rocking him gently, as if he were a small child.

"Is there anything else wrong? Or are you just cold?" she inquired.

He took a breath.

"My head hurts…" he whispered.

Resting a hand on his forehead, and then his neck, she nodded.

"Do you want me to go get you something?"

"No! No, I'm fine, just please, don't leave." He whimpered.

Camille sighed.

"Okay, but if you still feel sick tomorrow, tell me. All right?"

He nodded again, and closed his eyes, tear tracks glistening on his cheeks. She sat with him a little while longer, caressing his damp bangs, and comforting him. Suddenly, she remembered-

"Kendall," she breathed.

"Logan?" she asked gently.

"Yes?"

"I'm just going to go check on Kendall, is that okay?"

He nodded, moving himself out of her lap. "Yeah, it's fine," he replied, somewhat reluctantly.

She smiled, and walked into the living room, where Kendall was lying on the couch.

"Hey," she called.

Kendall jumped up, and ran towards her, looking at her with hope-filled green eyes.

"What happened? Is Logie okay?"

Camille wanted so badly to reply with a smile, to tell him that all was well, that his best friend wasn't hovering dangerously close to what seemed like depression, but she couldn't.

"Um, well, he had a nightmare, but… No. I don't think he's okay."

Kendall turned pale, looking like he had just been punched in the stomach.

"W-what do you mean?"

"He's… Well, for one, he told me he felt sick, and he felt like he was burning up. And, Kendall, I think there's something he isn't telling us, something we should know."

Kendall took a breath, sinking down to sit on the edge of the couch, resting his head in his hands, which were starting to shake.

"Why?" he half sobbed, half yelled. "Why does this have to be happening? Logan didn't do anything to deserve this!" he looked over at her.

Camille just stood there, shocked at his sudden outburst.

Kendall stood up, his hands gripping the sides of his head, tearing at his hair, his bright green eyes wide as they stood out in the darkness.

"I can't take it anymore!" he screamed.

He stormed to the door, making Camille jump as it slammed closed, causing a hanging photo of Logan and Kendall to fall to the floor, the glass of the frame shattering on impact.

That was it. That was the last straw. In out foul swoop, Camille's walls shattered, her heart breaking. The tears flowed like waterfalls; her breathing came in quick, ragged gasps. She curled into a ball on the couch where Kendall had just been laying, and let the sadness take over. To her, it seemed as if the battles were over, hopelessness had won the war.

She was oblivious to everything around her. She was oblivious to how late it was. She was oblivious to the sounds of Kendall's quiet whimpers outside. She was oblivious to Logan, standing in the hallway in shock, watching her crumble.

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><p>AN: Woah… This was officially my 'Let's torture everyone' Chapter…. I love you guys for reading, and once again sorry for the insane update. Reviews?


	9. Broken

A/N: Hello everyone! Please feel free to throw various sharp or harmful objects at me for my lack of updates. But, all of the craziness is over, and I'm back. I hope y'all had a wonderful holiday, and that you enjoy this chapter, even though it's short… ^_^

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><p>Camille didn't even know how long she had sat on the couch, crying her eyes out. Actually, the only reason she'd stopped crying was that she simply ran out of tears. She literally couldn't cry anymore. Now, she just felt tired. Exhausted, really. Her eyelids drooped, and she fell into a peaceful sleep, something she hadn't been able to do in a while.<p>

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><p>Kendall could feel the rage leaving his system, only to be replaced by an intense wave of shame. He had had no right to blow up at Camille like that-she was trying to help, and, frankly, he and Logan would be a lot worse for wear without her. He felt the anger prick up in him again when a few stray tears escaped his eyes and trailed down his cheeks. God, why did he have to be so weak? Why did he have to get angry, and cry like a baby? Why couldn't he be strong, like Camille? Why?<p>

He groaned in frustration at his conflicting, whirling thoughts, why did such bad things happen to such good people? He didn't know if he would be able to find a better, kinder, more loving person than Logan. He was almost perfect. He didn't deserve this pain, this suffering he was going through right now, no one did. This whole situation was tearing him-tearing them-apart. If something didn't get done soon, he didn't know what would happen.

Suddenly, it was all too much to handle.

Kendall pushed his mind, all of his thoughts and emotion flooding out of his head, leaving a slightly sickening, yet very peaceful nothing. The worry was gone. The pain was gone. The fear was gone.

He was empty.

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><p>Logan felt hot tears rolling down his face. He felt so cold. He felt so alone. His friend was dead, the girl he loved was breaking down. And it was all his fault. Horrible guilt coursed through his veins, consuming him, making him feel sick and worthless.<p>

His heart hurt. So much, that it felt like someone was stabbing him with a white-hot poker. The pain was eating at him, ripping and tearing at his mind.

Slowly, he raised himself to stand up, walked a few steps into the bathroom, and locked the door, collapsing to his quivering knees as soon as he was inside. As he glanced around the chilly room, a dark thought slithered into his broken mind.

Unknowingly, his watery chocolate eyes had locked on a single object in the room. He blinked, focusing on what it was.

A razor.

And he had that thought, that one thought, that maybe...

He stood up again, grabbing the sharp object, staring at it.

He never, ever would even dream of doing something like this normally. In fact, he would go pale at the mere thought. But this was different. Maybe this was the solution.

Maybe this would make the pain go away.

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><p>AN: Le gasp! This really took on a mind of it's own… Sorry it was short, I just really needed to get everyone's emotions/situations straight. Next Chapter will be: A) Sooner and B) Longer. Reviews? :)


	10. Rescued

**A/N:** I, Candie, am a terrible person. School has gotten in my way of updating once again, and I am extremely, extremely sorry. But, I'm back, and ready to redeem myself. I hope you enjoy the Chapter, my lovelies. Sorry for any typos…

****PLEASE READ THE NOTE AFTER THE 2nd A/N******

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><p>Logan stared at the object in his hand, eyes wide, tears pouring down his ashen face. Should he do this? Could he do this? He stopped... Would it really help? He thought of Kendall, trying to stay so calm for him, so strong, being such a loyal friend. All for him. What would this do to Kendall? And Camille... She had done everything, been everything, for him. She was strong, she tried to make him feel better, she comforted him when he needed it, whether he asked or not. She was perfect. She was an angel. And he loved her. With all of his heart. He couldn't do this to her-not after everything she'd done for him, everything she was for him. Prying his shaking hand open, he dropped the horrible thing onto the ground, leaving it there. Because it wasn't worth it.<p>

Logan released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. However glad he was that he hadn't decided to it, he still hurt, so badly. And not just emotionally. His head was pounding; he could feel the pulse of it pressuring his ears. It was making him dizzy.

Resting his head against the cool tiled wall, he closed his tired eyes, drifting into a fitful sleep.

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><p>Camille's eyes fluttered open, and she glanced around the dark living room. Running a hand over her face, she sighed. Her body felt cramped because of the curled-up position she'd spent most of the night in. Her throat ached dully-probably due to her uncontrollable sobbing the night before. Overall, she needed a shower.<p>

Stretching, she made her way to the restroom, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her mind refusing to work correctly until she had at least washed her face and brushed her teeth.

She opened the door, flicked on the light, and shook her head, not comprehending the sight that lay before her. Logan was curled against the tiled wall of the bathroom, his eyes closed as he slept deeply. His whole body looked frail, his face was a pale white-gray, and he had purple, bruise-like circles shadowed underneath his eyes.

She felt her breathing quicken and a sick feeling rise to her throat as she got a clear look at what was lying on the floor only a foot away from him.

A razor.

Immediately, Camille panicked, a thousand thoughts filling her horrified mind as she knelt in front of Logan. Cautiously but quickly, she grabbed his arms, one by one, and inspected them thoroughly for any sign of blood, scars, or redness.

She almost passed out with relief when she found none.

"Logan."

"Logan? Sweetie?"

Normally, Camille would have never used the sappy pet name with him, but right now, she could care less about the slight blush that the term of endearment left on her cheeks... Or how her heart fluttered when he opened his beautiful brown eyes. Nope, that was not important.

"Camille?" he answered groggily. He looked around absently, his eyes widening in horror as he saw the wretched metal object that rested tauntingly on the floor. He looked at Camille, terrified.

"O-oh gosh, Camille, I-I'm so sorry, I-I didn't d-o anything, I promise. I-it just hurt so bad, I-I didn't know what to d-do... I mean, I almost d-did, but I could n-never do that. I lo-" he stopped, his cheeks flushing red as he paused, casting his gaze to the ground.

"Logan, I know you wouldn't do that, but that fact that you even thought about it... I don't know what to do anymore. I'm... I just don't know how to help you. But, I will say this: Chase's death was _not_ your fault. It was an accident, a terrible accident-nothing more. Please accept that, I'm begging. I can't stand you being like this. I want you back; I want funny, pessimistic, cute, nerdy, amazing, wonderful, perfect Logan back. I want my Logan back... The one I fell in love with."

Logan just stared at her, slightly open-mouthed, taking in everything she had just told him.

"It really isn't my fault?" he whispered, trying to believe his own words.

"Not one little bit." she assured him.

Logan didn't understand. How could it not be his fault? He had called Chase, wanting to talk to him… He had caused him to pick up his phone at the worst possible moment, ever. He had left. He had left his best friend, to go to LA, and live his dreams with his new friends, not giving Chase a second thought when he left.

Camille saw the pained confusion in his eyes, as he desperately tried to reason with himself.

"Look," she began, stroking his hair softly, "Were you driving that Semi-Truck that hit him?" she stopped long enough for him to look up, as he slowly shook his head.

"No…" he whispered brokenly.

"Exactly. How on Earth could this possibly be your fault?" she cooed.

"I-I left… I went with Carlos and James and Kendall to LA and just left him in Minnesota…"

"Logan, you were following your heart, your dreams—there is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with that. And Chase understood, he accepted it. He still was still your best friend until the moment he died-you know that. He wouldn't want you be so upset, okay? That isn't what he'd want for you. He'd want you to be sad for a little while, but move on. To keep him in your memories and heart, and live your dreams with him in mind."

And, with that, Camille placed her hands gently on his flushed cheeks. And kissed Logan right on the lips. She could see his eyes widen and his face redden at the out of the blue romantic gesture- but the surprise didn't last long. Sighing, he pressed his lips into hers, softly, lovingly. For the first time in a while, Logan felt safe. He felt like this place, this moment, was exactly where he belonged. Wrapped in Camille's embrace, feeling her warmth and life transfer to his cold and lonely body.

He felt alive.

He felt complete.

He felt perfect.

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><p><strong>AN:** O.O Romance alert, much… Sorry, guys, the Lomille was running this Chapter, as you could probably see. Again, sorry for the crazy wait, and I hope you liked the Chapter. And… Could you possibly drop a review? It would honestly make my day.

Much Love, Candie

****NOTE TO ALL RUSHERS! PLEASE READ!*****

Please, everyone who can and hasn't already: BTR's BTMovie album is #2 on the Pop chart of iTunes, with only Adele ahead. Please, PLEASE go download it now! We can get it to #1, Rushers! Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your dog, I don't care, let's do this thing! :D

~Peace


	11. Safe

**A/N: [PLEASE READ]** I'd just like to say that this is most likely the last Chapter of this story. Thank you everyone who favorited, put it on alert, or put me on favorite or alert. It really means a lot to me, you have no idea. Every kind comment encourages me, to continue writing, so, yea, thank you. I'm also so glad that people have enjoyed this story-I had no idea so many people would like it. Honestly, 63 reviews is more than I ever expected to get on a story. This epilogue/final chapter is written in a different way than I've written anything before, It is extremely simple, short and has little dialogue, as I was attempting to express raw, simplistic emotion. With that in mind, I hope you enjoy this final installment of 'Remembering Chase.'

Love, Candie

**ALSO:** Sorry about the late update, this was ready a couple weeks ago, but Fanfic's Editing Apparatus was malfunctioning. :)

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><p>They broke apart, Logan's heart feeling so light that it could have floated away. He couldn't believe what this amazing, beautiful girl had done for him. He had never in his life felt like he deserved to be loved the way that she loved him.<p>

And nothing could take it away.

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><p>Kendall made his way back to the apartment, not knowing what to expect, guilt eating at his emotions at the thought of him leaving Logan and Camille alone all night. Finally, he reached the door to 2J, pushing it open.<p>

He walked in, his heart lightening when he saw Camille, who had cooked, honestly, the most beautiful looking breakfast that Kendall had ever seen.

And, Logan, who was sitting at the table, showered, dressed, and looking up at him with a…

A smile on his face.

The rush of emotion he felt was overwhelming. After long days of depression, nights of despair, Logan being nothing but a broken soul, filled with guilt and misery, he was better. Camille had somehow managed to fix him.

Kendall burst into tears at the simple expression on his friend's face, the look of happiness seeming so foreign, so unusually beautiful, that he couldn't help but cry out of pure relief. The bright white teeth, the dimples at the corners of his mouth, the crinkled lines around his chocolate eyes, which were no longer empty, but shining with a new joy- it brought elation to Kendall's core. Wrapping his arms around Logan, he held on tight, and, at that moment, he couldn't think of a happier time in his life. He felt Logan squeeze him back; the small brunette's smile widening, his own tears dampening the flannel of Kendall's shirt.

It was a long time before either of them let go, or found the strength to speak, but Kendall was first. He slowly released Logan from his grip, holding him by the shoulders, looking into eyes that were still streaming crystalline tears.

"Y-you're back."

Logan nodded, a weak chuckle escaping his lips, as he tried to think of what he could possibly say to Kendall that would express his extreme gratitude for all that he had done for him.

"Thank you." He whispered, his eyes wide and shining. He was unable to say it any other way.

"What's family for?" Kendall replied ruffling Logan's hair gently, before reaching down for another bone-crushing embrace.

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><p>Camille looked on, a huge smile lighting up her brown eyes and filling her insides with a glowing warmth, as she realized something that she'd never thought she would think again.<p>

It was going to be okay.

_They_ were going to be okay.

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><p><strong>AN:** Once again, I want to thank all of you. Really, I appreciate all of your kind words, and they have always encouraged me to write more. :) So, with that, maybe one final review?

-Candie :)


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